Cinderpelt: So what did you want to tell me?
Bluestar: Well, we were kinda looking through prophecies and junk, and we found some stuff, and... It looks like YOU'RE GOING TO DIE SOON.
Cinderpelt: Oh, okay.
Bluestar: You're really okay with this?
Cinderpelt: Meh, fate is fate. I haven't bothered putting up any resistance to any of the other tragedies in my life. In fact you could even say I'm partly responsible for Firestar falling in love with Sandstorm.
Bluestar: ...I see. Well, we're glad you don't even bother trying to fight fate, it's what makes you a great medicine cat.
Leafpool: *Having an arousing dream about Crowfeather. I'm serious, this actually happens.* Crowfeather...
Cinderpelt: Is something the matter?
Leafpool: Gah! N-no...
Cinderpelt: Are you sure? I heard you moaning, and your fur is standing on end...
Leafpool: I-I have...medicine cat...stuff...to do...
Cinderpelt: Really? Do you need my help?
Leafpool: NO!... It, uh... requires...running at a moderately fast pace...uh yeah...
Cinderpelt: ...It's so obvious now, it's not even funny...
*As Sorreltail leaves after talking to Leafpool in the bush on the WindClan border*
Leafpool: Great, now she thinks I have some sort of berry fetish or something...
Leafpool: You didn't see any WindClan cats, did you? Like-like Crowfeather, for instance?
Squirrelflight: Why? Do you have the hots for Crowfeather or something?
Leafpool: N-NO! YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!
Squirrelflight: ...Calm down, it was just a joke.
Leafpool: Oh... yeah... I knew that. I have...medicine cat...stuff...to do...
Leafpool: Great StarClan! It's Feathertail, back from the dead to haunt me about having impure thoughts about Crowfeather!
Feathertail: No, I don't mind for some reason. He's great isn't he?
Leafpool: Yeah... I mean... Shut up!
Leafpool: Yay! I made it a whole chapter without thinking about Crowfeather!
Feathertail: You just mentioned him now...
Leafpool: Mouse dung!
Feathertail: He's got a nice ass, doesn't he?
Leafpool: ...Shut up...
Mothwing: Huh? What's Crowfeather doing here?
Crowfeather: I want a word with Leafpool, if you don't mind.
Mothwing: mrrow I get it. See you, Leafpool. *leaves*
Leafpool: *dying of embarrassment*
*20 minutes later*
Mothwing: Wait a minute... Leafpool and Crowfeather... She's a... and he's from... mouse dung! Why am I so slow!?
Daisy: What happened to your face?
Brightheart: The same thing that's going to happen to yours if you don't shut up.
Leafpool: They're beautiful. Have you given them names yet?
Daisy: Yes. The one with cream fur like mine is Berry, the bigger gray one is Mouse, and the smallest one is Hazel.
Leafpool: Those will work very well as Clan names. Here they'll be Berrykit, Mousekit, and Hazelkit. I'll let Firestar know.
Daisy: B-but I liked their old names...
Leafpool: Well those are their names now. Deal with it.
Crowfeather: *staring at Leafpool*
Webfoot: What are you staring at her for? Aren't there enough cats in WindClan for you to be padding after?
Crowfeather: What are you talking about? There's only three she cats listed in this book's Allegiances for our clan. One has already had kits, so she is probably already taken, and another is my mom, so that leaves only Nightcloud.
Webfoot: The Allegiances don't list every single cat. I think Vicky even said so herself.
Crowfeather: Then what about all the random warriors appearing in the allegiances in Power of Three even though they haven't made actual appearances?
Tornear: Great StarClan, stop breaking the fourth wall, you two. And Webfoot, this is Squirrelflight's sister, remember? Squirrelflight who Crowfeather went on the journey with?
Crowfeather: Oh, uh, yeah. Right. Whew... really dodged a bullet there...
Tornear: What was that?
Leafpool: I feel kind of useless now that you've got your sister to help you.
Cinderpelt: My sister? I've only got Brightheart helping me.
Leafpool: She is your sister.
Cinderpelt: Really? Are you sure?
Hawkfrost: My dad is smarter than your dad!
Brambleclaw: We have the same dad, idiot.
Hawkfrost: Yeah, but mine's smarter!
Mousekit: That ugly cat scared me!
Brightheart: Why I haven't beaten that bitch and her spoiled kits senseless yet, I'll never know.
Cinderpelt: As for Crowfeather, I can't say I'm surprised. Do you think I haven't noticed the two of you at Gatherings? Don't think I didn't notice you sneaking into the bushes last time, either.
Leafpool: Wha- No! We just walked through the bushes to get to the shore!
Cinderpelt: Then why did they start rustling?
Leafpool: That was the wind!
Cinderpelt: As in WindClan, which Crowfeather is from?
Leafpool: ...Shut up...
Cinderpelt: Well anyway, my point is: I totally called that one.
Leafpool: You can't possibly understand! You've never been in love! It's easy for you, you've never wanted anything else.
Cinderpelt: That's not true!
Leafpool: Oh yeah, what!?
Cinderpelt: Your father!...
Cinderpelt: If it wasn't for my stupid gimp leg, I would probably be your mother.
Cinderpelt: I knew this would be awkward... You must feel like a total bitch right now.
Leafpool: Well... I'm still running away!
Leafpool: Is everyone I seek spiritual guidance from in love with my father?
Spottedleaf: Now that you mention it, yes.
Leafpool: Where should we go?
Crowfeather: Not towards the forest. We'd end up in the mountains, or somewhere with too many Twolegs.
Leafpool: But what about Ravenpaw and Barley's barn?
Crowfeather: I don't think so. Their barn was on my territory, so I have an idea of what goes on in there. I don't think they would like us to intrude.
Crowfeather: Let's just say they're living alone for the same reasons we are.
Leafpool: But they're both...oh...
Crowfeather: Wait... Midnight. If your den is in the direction the sun sets, why did we bump into you if we're going in the direction of the rising sun?
Midnight: Do not know. Perhaps I have talk with kin who live this direction, and came around lake before book. Plot hole could also be.
Crowfeather: Okay... Never mind all that. C'mon, Leafpool, let's go. We haven't made out in, like, five whole minutes.
*Crowfeather starts randomly making out with Leafpool (heh-heh).*
Sorreltail: Oh, get a room, you two! ... And Leafpool, before you do that, would you mind HELPING ME GIVE BIRTH!?
*After Cinderpelt dies*
Cinderpelt: Well everybody, I'm ready to go to StarClan.
Bluestar: Sorry, but you're not going to StarClan.
Bluestar: As a reward for your life of service, we've decided to randomly cram your spirit somewhere into your niece's preconscious.
Cinderpelt: What? But I was only okay with dying because I thought I was going to StarClan!
Bluestar: Well, now you're just going to barely exist. Have fun with that.
Cinderpelt: This is supposed to be a reward!?