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Leafpool: *splashing around in the lake* Must wash away the sin…

*Leafpool sees Jaypaw nuzzling the stick*
Leafpool: Oh, get a room, you two!
Jaypaw: Okay, we will.
Leafpool: I was just joking.
Jaypaw: Well I wasn't. *continues nuzzling stick*
Leafpool: *backs away slowly*

Stormfur:  Hi, Brook.
Brook: Hi, Stormfur.
Stormfur: Want to go hunting?
Brook: Sounds fun to me, let's g...

Hollypaw: Oh, so the reason you are so obsessed with that stick is because it is connected to the ancient cats and the tunnels, right?
Jaypaw: *looks around suspiciously* Uh, sure... Let's go with that...

Feathertail: A shared past counts for a lot.  Even if it was brief.
Leafpool: So basically because you gave your life to save the Tribe, you're their bitch for all eternity?
Feathertail: Yeah, pretty much.  Depending on your interpretation, I could also be saying "FIND A WAY TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH CROWY, YOU SILLY WOMAN!"*
Leafpool: I see...

*By "depending on your interpretation", I mean "that's my interpretation".

Stormfur: I liked your mother too much.  But...
Lionpaw: Wait... Why are you telling me this?
Stormfur: I dunno, I guess I needed to get that off my chest.  Although you were probably the worst cat to tell... I guess this is pretty awkward...
Lionpaw: Yes… Yes it is…

Hollypaw: I have a plan.
Cinderpaw: What plan?
Hollypaw: It's about becoming a warrior.  It's so confusing, learning about fighting and hunting and all the stuff about the warrior code...
Cinderpaw: But the warrior code is just remembering 15 rules.  Is that really enough to be considered a major field of study?
Hollypaw: BLASPHEMY! *bitch slap*

Brambleclaw: I met Ashfur in the forest, and he told me all about it.  He told me Lionpaw's going to make a great warrior like his father.  I assume that was a compliment.
Hollypaw: ...Are you sure he wasn't being sarcastic?
Brambleclaw: Well, afterward Squirrelflight said "Well, he certainly wasn't being sarcastic", so I guess he wasn't.
Hollypaw: It sounds to me like they were both being sarcastic.
Brambleclaw: ...What does sarcastic mean?
Hollypaw: *facepaw*

Talon: Don't you recognize us?
Brambleclaw: Sort of...
Night: I'm Night, and he's Talon.  You know, from the Tribe of Rushing Water.
Brambleclaw: Oh, right.  I knew you were from the Tribe; I just never bothered to remember your names.  You're not particularly memorable.  No offense, but I don't think even the fans bothered to remember who half of you are.

Brook: Can't you see that the Tribe needs Stormfur?
Night: I can see that you need Stormfur.
Stoneteller: Oooh!  he told you!'
Brook: Shut up...

Tribe Cat: Now, Stoneteller.  You can't solve all your problems by banishing them.
Stoneteller: Shut up!  You're banished!
Tribe Cat: Mouse dung.

Birchfall: The Great Journey was fun!
Brambleclaw: But three of your siblings died...
Birchfall: Yeah, but it was still fun.

Firestar: But I daren't weaken ThunderClan by sending more warriors with you.
Squirrelflight: Did you just use the word "daren't"?
Firestar: Yes.
Squirrelflight: That couldn't have happened by accident.  Admit it, you were just trying to sound cool.
Firestar: Maybe...

Leafpool: I could go to WindClan to get Crowfeather!
Everyone: *staring at Leafpool*
Leafpool: ...Or not...

Tornear: Why are you here?
Squirrelflight: We need to speak to Crowfeather.
Tornear: *tense* You mean just talk or… You know…
Squirrelflight: *bristling* I believe you're getting me mixed up with my sister.

Crowfeather: *panicking* What are you doing here? Is something wrong with your hot sister?
Squirrelflight: Stop calling her that!


Breezepaw: I want to say good-bye to my friends first.
Crowfeather: You don't have any.  Let's get a move on!

*Nightcloud tries to nuzzle Crowfeather*

Jaypaw: Aren't you coming to say good-bye?
Leafpool: I-I've said it already.  Three freaking times...
Jaypaw: Um... Okay... bye. *leaves*
Leafpool: Thank StarClan he's gone.  Now I can have erotic fantasies about Crowfeather in peace!

Jaypaw: I'm here, just like you said.
Rock: Whoops, sorry, can't tell anything to just you; I need all three of you.
Jaypaw: What?  So then why did I come on this journey if I won't get any answers?
Rock: Darned if I know.  Well, try to have fun anyway.
Jaypaw: Grrr…

Gray: Stormfur!  Brook!  What are you doing here?  You're...You're supposed to be dead!
Stormfur: Just because Stoneteller said we were dead, doesn't mean we are.
Bird: But Stoneteller told us to think that you were dead.
Stormfur: Do you people actually have a mind of your own!?
Gray: Let me check with Stoneteller...
Stormfur: *facepaw*

Talon: Just follow the Path of Rushing Water, and soon we'll be in the Cave of Rushing Water...
Lionpaw: Do you guys just put "of Rushing Water" onto the end of everything?
Talon: Yup, pretty much.

Tribe Cat: Yes!  Tell us what we should do!
Brambleclaw: Wait, if you were so reluctant to accept our help before, why are you so obsessed with us now?
Tribe Cat: Because now Stoneteller likes you!
Brambleclaw: Wow, they really do have no minds of their own…

Stoneteller: Curse you, democracy!

Hollypaw: *cleaning Lionpaw's fur* Shut up and let me lick!
Lionpaw: Yeah, that's what she said.
Hollypaw: This is not the time for that!

---  ---
Yes, it’s finally time for some more Warriors Abridged!

This time it’s Outcast, a.k.a. tPoT’s Obligatory Tribe Book.

This book also has Stormfur pulling a Reverse-Crowfeather. What is pulling a Crowfeather, you ask? You know how Crowfeather was pictured on the cover of Twilight with blue eyes, but in the book he was always mentioned with amber eyes? Well, Stormfur does the exact opposite here, since he has amber eyes on the cover, but blue eyes in the book. Of course, this isn’t as noticeable because, unlike Crowfeather in Twilight, the majority of the book isn’t about one of the protagonists gazing lovingly into his eyes.

Speaking of the cover, notice the incredibly suggestive position Stormfur and Brook are in. What else could they be doing in that position?

Our book opens with a bunch of Tribe cats encountering some rogues that are stealing prey. I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t remember half of these cats. I mean, the Tribe itself is interesting, but outside of Stoneteller, Stormfur, and Brook, none of the characters associated with it are particularly memorable.

It ends up breaking out into a fight, as the Tribe of Endless Hunting looks on hopelessly. Is it just me or is the Tribe of Endless Hunting just a more useless version of StarClan?

After the short prologue, the book opens with Jaypaw and Leafpool collecting herbs by the lake. Leafpool splashes around in the lake the lake, probably trying to wash away how dirty she feels from all the stuff she does to herself while thinking of Crowfeather, and tries to coax Jayfeather into coming in and cooling off with her.

Jayfeather decides against it because he has acquired a bit of a fear of water what with all the drowning he’s done in the past two books. Of course, he’s not going to let anyone else know this, so he just ditches Leafpool as he goes to look for his precious stick.

He eventually finds his beloved and begins to stroke his stick softly and…


Ahem. Anyways, he bumps into Hazelpaw on her final assessment. She is being all excited and happy and such, and Jaypaw is all “Oh, God. Please shut up.” and such. She mentions how Daisy has also had more kits since the last book. And who is the father? Spiderleg.

That’s right: It’s Spiderleg. Daisy has had kits with a cat that she has never even been in the same scene with, save that one bit where Spiderleg wanted to chase her off.

As if Spiderleg’s continued ignorance of Daisy wasn’t enough proof, the Erins have even come out and said that they just had a one night stand.

This could mean any number of things: Spiderleg was trying to follow his father and tried to sink his teeth into the first she-cat he could, but Daisy was the only on desperate enough to accept his offer, and he got bored with the concept of “mate for life” and just left after riding her for one night; they both had too much catnip, got a bit lost in the woods, and then things got out of hand; Daisy was in heat and caught Spiderleg in a moment of weakness…

The point is: they randomly mated, and that resulted in an unexpected pregnancy. If you know where to look, there certainly is a lot of sex in these books… Bluestar's Prophecy. 'Nuff said.

After also interrupting Berrypaw’s assessment, everyone heads back to camp, and everything seems all happy and such, just to make it all the more jarring when the Erins start making everything darker (Eclipse onward) and finally lower the axe (Sunrise). Spiderleg is also mentioned to be awkward around his kits, as if he isn’t used to the idea of being a father. He’s probably thinking “Fox dung! I should have used that condom!”

…Of course, cats don’t have condoms. But if they did, things would be much easier *cough*The Three*cough*.

Anyway, Firestar gets ready to give Mousepaw, Hazelpaw, and Berrypaw their warrior names. Berrypaw worries that Firestar will give him a name based on his stump of a tail. Poppypaw calls him “Berrystumpytail”, creating a somewhat popular and funny fan nickname for him, at which point Brightheart cuts in and talk about how Firestar wouldn’t give any cat a cruel name, like he did with her.

The subject also changes to Jaypaw possibly being named after his blindness. Of course, this doesn’t actually happen, since Leafpool just names him after his father/her lover. This is kind of creepy if you think about it, since only her and Squirrelflight were supposed to be the only cats to know about Jaypaw’s connection to Crowfeather…

Jaypaw starts to think about the mysteries of the ancient cats that used to like by the lake, and the story quickly switches to Lionpaw, who goes out on the dawn patrol with Ashfur and the newly named Berrynose, whose defining character trait as of now is being an arrogant jerk who isn’t anywhere near as awesome as he thinks he is.

I actually have no idea why people go around insulting Berrynose and saying he’s annoying. I mean, he certainly seems like much more of a comic figure to me. His remarks are in no way mean or offensive, and he is an idiot first and foremost. It’s just really funny seeing him think he’s all that when he’s nothing but an arrogant blowhard.

Anyway, somewhere along their patrol, Lionpaw starts sniffing around an old rabbit hole and begins to think back to the time he spent playing with Heatherpaw in the tunnels. He then decides that if he wants to be the best warrior in ThunderClan, he can’t have a best friend in another Clan.

…Yeah, he still thinks him and Heatherpaw were “friends”. The thought of him having loved her doesn’t even occur to him until Eclipse. Despite the fact that Lionpaw and Heatherpaw were alone for at least one night in the tunnels, something I would totally jump at that otherwise, I don’t think they mated for one simple reason: Firestar Syndrome.

After some battle training, Lionpaw overhears Longtail telling Foxkit and Icekit a story about Tigerstar. Longtail chooses to show his bias by emphasizing all of Tigerstar’s good traits in between describing his heinous crimes. Now, this is a pretty important theme in the series overall, but not really the best judgement on Longtail’s part, since now Lionpaw is convinced that no bad can come from his association with Tigerstar. Well, when we want to believe something, we’re easier to convince, right?

It then switches over to Hollyleaf, who catches Honeypaw mooning over Berrynose, and talking about how great he is. She apparently believes Berrynose when he talks about how great he is, but unfortunately, Berrynose’s nose is held so high that he doesn’t even notice her.

Hollypaw, and presumably the rest of the Clan, feel somewhat annoyed with Honeypaw in this regard. And of course, Berrynose is still unaware of all of this.

Again, people are pissed off with this, and I don’t know why. Guys, this is funny. We’re not really supposed to take this too seriously. I, personally, love HoneyxBerry because I’m greatly amused by watching Honeypaw fangirl over Berrynose, while he remains completely ignorant of it and the rest of the Clan facepalms endlessly. It’s funny.

I did kinda lost interest during Sunrise, though, when the Erins started writing it seriously. It’s like “Oh, some minor characters love each other. Hurrah. Good for them. That’s ni- oh! Look! Jayfeather’s doing something interesting!”

It’s kind of like SorrelxBracken: I don’t care for the pairing itself because they are minor characters that aren’t seen together very often, so I’m not really given much to love. But Brackenfur is still FREAKIN’ BRACKENFUR! :XD:

Anyway, Hollypaw is also being really paranoid about how she thinks everyone expects her to have kits, which she isn’t comfortable about since she wants to just help her Clan as a warrior. Seeing that Honeypaw has already latched herself onto Berrynose doesn’t make her feel any better about this.

Whenever I read about Hollypaw freaking out about having kits, I can’t help but have this little scene play out in my head: She’s basically looking around the camp, and all the young male warriors are walking around minding their own business, and then she suddenly imagines that they all turn around and give some creepy rapist look at the exact same time, and she’s all “Nyeh!”

…Bah, I can’t describe it well. It looks funnier in my head…

Hollypaw is afraid of having kits because she fears it may jeopardize her chances of becoming Clan leader, shocking herself with her own ambition. Foreshadowing?

She decides to talk to Squirrelflight about it, because she had kits even though she didn’t, but what she says doesn’t make her feel much better.

Soon after, Icekit and Foxkit are made apprentices, and when Squirrelflight gets Foxpaw as an apprentice, Hollyleaf starts to feel better because she realises that Squirrelflight is still able to be an asset to the Clan even though she had no kits. And Leafpool is proof that you can have kits and still be a medicine cat.

However, Firestar’s decision to give Icepaw to Whitewing causes Birchfall and Berrynose to get all bitchy. Apparently, both of them wanted an apprentice, and thought they could do a better job despite how inexperienced they are, and how experienced Whitewing is. Of course, Birchfall also becomes Whitewing’s mate later on (something I saw coming at around Twilight), so… yeah.

This scene also causes Hollypaw to wonder about why Birchfall is now hanging out with Berrynose and has become so… Berrynose-y. I’m a bit confused, too. Why are Birchfall and Berrynose suddenly such close friends? Like, really close friends to the point of Birchfall acting like Berrynose. This doesn’t have much effect on anything, and it doesn’t come up ever again. It’s just there for this one book.

I’m guessing Vicky decided she wanted to tease the yaoi fangirls a bit, but since Ravenpaw and Barley aren’t around, she decided to grab Birchfall and Berrynose instead.

Their odd relationship is taken even further when they get caught accidentally straying into ShadowClan territory. Together.

The obviously get attacked by a ShadowClan patrol, and Firestar comes in to break up the ensuing fight. Blackstar then shows up and he and Firestar reminisce about the good ol’ days and how they miss the old forest and stuff. Old people are old.

Blackstar says that they don’t belong at the lake because all of StarClan once lived in the forest, meaning there was a group of ancient cats living in the forest before StarClan divided them into Clans.

…I’m not really sure how this proves they aren’t capable of living at the lake, but what he says causes Hollypaw to think about the ancient cats that used to live around the lake, and has some kind of epiphany about how far back all of this history must stretch.

After that random BerryxBirch scene, she goes off hunting and finds Jaypaw looking for the tunnels. Once again, we get talk about ancient cats as Jaypaw tells Hollypaw about seeing Fallen Leaves in the tunnels, and that creepy pedophile guy that keeps fondling his stick Rock. Hollypaw is intrigued.

Later, Hollypaw is getting all frantic during training because she just remembered that brief bit of desire to be Clan leader she had a while back. Apparently, she’s too afraid of becoming Tigerstar. Well, at least when she goes evil, she isn’t very much like Tigerstar.

Brook tries to comfort her, which then segues into her telling all of the apprentices about life in the Tribe. She explains most of the things about how the Tribe work, which we already know, and Hollypaw can’t help but wish she could have had difficult choices made for her, like in the Tribe, instead of maintaining her freedom in making life choices. Um, yay?

Hollypaw begins to think about how much she wants to go visit the Tribe and see how they live. Of course, most of the cats in this series wouldn’t know diversity from an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era, so Hollypaw is probably one of the rare cats that would care about such a cultural experience. Unfortunately, she will never get to go to the mountains, right? Right?

Anyway, it’s now Jaypaw time, as he’s heading off to the medicine cat Gathering with Leafpool, and he’s desperate to see Rock so he can pester him with questions.

Willowpaw ends up coming alone because Mothwing is apparently treating a sick cat and couldn’t come. Jaypaw silently scoffs her atheist ways, and guesses she is just lazy and was looking for an excuse not to come. Because of my earlier comment about masturbating, I now can’t help but think about what Mothwing is probably using this time to catch up on…

Jaypaw also has a brief cold exchange with Willowpaw. I’m not going to lie, I actually kind of like WillowxJay. Yeah, it won’t become canon, but I’ve always found their constant petty squabbling cute, and always felt that it was masking some more positive feelings. This scene in particular has a line I can’t help but love: Okay, I know you don’t like me. I’m not all that besotted with you, either. Besotted. I know he’s being sarcastic, but I find that to be a really interesting choice of words.

I also hate when people say “Oh, they hate each other!” No, they don’t; they just argue a lot. There is a big difference. Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw argued a lot, and we all know how that turned out.

Anyway, at the Moonpool, Jaypaw ends up face to face with Rock, who proceeds to tell him absolutely nothing. He just tells him that the answer lies in the mountains.

Knowing that he might actually be able to figure out what’s going on by going there, Jaypaw suddenly becomes interested in going to the mountains. Hmmm, I’m sensing a pattern here…

He then ends up in Leafpool’s dream, because he’s a stalker like that. Of course, this is a dream with StarClan, not one of Leafpool’s private fantasies, so there’s a lot less Crowfeather. It also explains why Leafpool isn’t as defensive when she catches him.

Leafpool spots Feathertail and goes over to talk to her. I always picture Leafpool and Feathertail having some odd friendship built on talking to each other about private details about Crowfeather and swapping anecdotes of their “experiences” with him and stuff. Like a two-cat Crowfeather Fan Club. Yuri level friendship? Probably not, but Crowfeather would certainly like it that way.

Crowfeather: *Dies from blood loss due to massive nosebleed*

Besides, if anyone in Warriors is a lesbian, it’s Mothwing. Just saying.

Anyway, it turns out that Feathertail is apparently off doing chores for the Tribe of Endless Hunting. Yeah, in addition to the fact that she has to live her life and support herself in StarClan, she has to play errand girl for the Tribe of Endless Hunting because she gave her life to save their asses.

…Wait, am I reading this right? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Shouldn’t they show her some gratitude for sacrificing herself instead of making her their slave? Seriously, the Tribe of Endless Hunting is… kind of a dick.

Feathertail tries to justify this by saying “A shared past counts for a lot. Even if it was brief”, something I think of as also a little bit about Crowfeather, since they both had their brief romantic interludes with him and yet still care about him. I might be looking too much into it, but meh.

Feathertail also seems to be worried about something and rushes off pretty quickly. Afterwards, Jaypaw talks to Leafpool about what could be going on in the Tribe that made Feathertail so anxious, trying to persuade her to get Firestar to possibly send a patrol. Leafpool says they probably shouldn’t look too much into it since it doesn’t concern ThunderClan. Jaypaw then immediately thinks that it concerns him. Oh, Jaypaw and his selfishness.

Seriously, I just love that about him. His self-centredness and all associated hypocrisy is such a massive flaw that he rarely gets called out on. It’s just so funny.

It then cuts over to Lionpaw, who is off training with the other apprentices. Of course, Berrynose is there for some reason, probably because he wants to talk down to everyone to make himself feel better. Lionpaw eventually gets fed up at Berrynose being… Berrynose, and starts yelling at him.

As he storms off, Stormfur catches up to him, and they engage in some intense male bonding. LionxStorm: It’s just there.

Their male bonding (seriously, Stormfur was more of a male role model for Lionpaw than Brambleclaw ever was) shifts from the subject of Brambleclaw, to the Great Journey, to Stormfur telling Lionpaw about how he wanted to get into Squirrelflight’s pants.

Yeah, he just told Lionpaw that he wanted to get with his adoptive mother. Yeah, that’s definitely what every young boy wants to hear.

But then he met Brook, and since he has a thing for cats with accents or something, they became mates. Good ol’ Brook: She’s his silver medal.

Lionpaw begins to wonder about what would have happened if Stormfur had become Squirrelflight’s mate instead of Brambleclaw, thinking that he would be a totally different cat even though he wouldn’t because Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw aren’t his biological parents. I don’t know if I’m weird or something, but if I were Lionpaw, I would be too weirded out by the “Ur mom iz hot” thing to start thinking about this.

I also can’t help but notice that in his story, Stormfur refers to Sharptooth as a “mountain lion”. Wasn’t he referred to as a “lion-cat” throughout Moonrise? Why does Stormfur suddenly know the correct term?

Stormfur also mentions Feathertail’s death, causing Lionpaw to think about how he would react to Hollypaw “allegedly” dying. Foreshadowing!

As a result of this whole conversation, Lionpaw starts thinking about the Great Journey and is itching to go on his own journey. He feels as if the mountains are calling to him… kind of like they are to Hollypaw and Jaypaw. Hold on…

Now it’s time for Hollypaw’s point of view, she’s having a conversation with Cinderpaw about some plan she has about becoming a warrior. She decides to plagiarize take a page from the Tribe cats and divide her training into three areas of study: Hunting, fighting, and since she’s such a warrior code fetishist, the warrior code, since learning to adhere to it is apparently as time consuming as perfecting the hunter’s crouch or any of the complicated battle moves.

Cinderpaw doesn’t think this is a good idea, and it isn’t really, since specializing isn’t really that significant. I mean, with hunting, you either catch a mouse or you don’t; end of story, and with fighting… well, except for maybe ten or so exceptions, every fully trained warrior is pretty much evenly matched.

Well, Hollypaw decides to run with the idea anyway, and they head off to do some battle training. The older apprentices are trying some of the advanced moves, and Lionpaw asks Ashfur if he can try. Lionpaw is being a bit of a show-off, and he does the move perfectly. He asks Ashfur if he will start being tougher on him from now on, at which point Ashfur takes him up on his offer and attacks him.

Lionpaw just learned the first lesson of any harsh physical training: Never ask for more. If you can handle the level you’re at, just be happy there and don’t rock the boat. Also, if you are ever asked if you are tired don’t say yes.

But yeah, Ashfur is completely insane here because he’s actually trying to kill Lionpaw here. Claws unsheathed and everything. It’s not explicitly stated here, but it says that he was fighting like he was fighting an enemy warrior, and the fact that this was an attempt at Lionpaw’s life is heavily implied in Long Shadows.

Of course, why Ashfur is doing it now is a bit confusing since, being his mentor, he would have many other opportunities to kill Lionpaw, many of them more effective and not so much in front of an audience.

Speaking of the audience bit, it makes me think what Ashfur would have done if he actually succeeded in killing Lionpaw here, since I’m guessing “Oops” probably wouldn’t do it for everyone who was watching.

For that matter, what would Ashfur have done if he revealed the secret at the Gathering in Long Shadows? He says “I’ll purr over what will happen after I’ve revealed the truth”, but that doesn’t answer anything. I mean, what would he say if someone asked him how he extracted this information?

Ashfur: Oh, funny story. Y’see, I was trying to murder Squirrelflight’s kits right in front of her, when…

Seriously, how much does he think these things through?

Another thing that’s really sad about this is that Lionpaw is actually evenly matched with him. I mean, I know Lionpaw has been training with Tigerstar and stuff, but that’s still kinda sad on Ashfur’s part.

Of course, (FREAKIN') Brackenfur eventually comes in and breaks things up, and Ashfur proceeds to pretend he wasn’t completely batshit insane about five seconds ago. Everyone else is still profoundly disturbed, and Hollypaw still isn’t convinced.

Later on, Hollypaw tries to talk about what happened to Brambleclaw. Brambleclaw says he already talked to Ashfur about it. Brambleclaw apparently accepts Ashfur’s explanation about it being part of training, and says that Ashfur said that Lionpaw would “make a great warrior like his father”.

For some reason, Brambleclaw doesn’t pick up on any potential sarcastic undertones in this, and makes himself look like an idiot by immediately following it with “I assume that was a compliment.” This is just one of the moments where I can’t help but picture Brambleclaw as a total meathead. Now, and the entire arc where he is completely unaware of Hawkfrost being a villain and wanting to screw him.

Anyway, later on, Hollypaw is off hunting with Honeypaw and Sandstorm, and Honeypaw is still obsessing over Berrynose. Both Hollypaw and Sandstorm want nothing more than for her to shut up.

But suddenly, they scent some mysterious cats, and Hollypaw and Honeypaw run back to camp to warn Firestar, but… They scent the same cats in the camp!


…Anyway, it’s Jaypaw time, and we finally get to see (not literally, of course) the mysterious intruders. And they are… Talon and Night.

They were in Moonrise, right? Sorry, I have a hard time telling the difference between about half of the Tribe cats; they’re all virtually the same.

Of course, Firestar immediately recognizes them, and even remembers their full names. That’s certainly more than I can say.

Lionpaw and Hollypaw proceed to give Jaypaw really detailed descriptions of what is happening during this odd meeting, and it seems that Stormfur and Brook are acting really tense. Jaypaw suddenly then goes into Brook’s mind mid-conversation. This happens without him wanting to, but I’m guessing he did it subconsciously because he is Jaypaw, and probably wanted to avoid any real social contact.

He is suddenly thrust into a giant battle, leaving him a bit disoriented and confused and blood splatters all around him. Y’know, I can’t help but notice that the word “blood” gets quiet a bit of use here… It turns out that he is with the Tribe of Rushing Water, and he skips ahead to a meeting about what they should do about the intruders Jaypaw just saw them fighting with. Jaypaw immediately picks out Stormfur, who is proposing that maybe they should, y’know, actually try to fight off the intruders instead of just doing nothing.

After him and Brook convince the Tribe that a show of force is the only way to stop the intruders, we cut to another battle, and… the Tribe kinda sucks… I don’t know how much my memory is playing tricks on me, but I remember in Moonrise the Cave Guards weren’t half bad. I mean, they did pretty well with brute force alone, but here? Jaypaw thinks and apprentice could do better.

Stormfur spends pretty much the entire battle yelling out advice, as Cherith continues to use the word “blood” almost as frequently as Shakespeare did in Macbeth. Jaypaw occupies himself with watching a certain Tribe cat struggle with one of the intruders. The Tribe cat finally manages to pin the other cat down, and Jaypaw yells at him to slit his belly open. Charming.

Of course, since this is just a flashback, Jaypaw’s advice falls on deaf ears and the Tribe cat ends up doing nothing, and gets killed. Yay!

After a hasty retreat and a romantic moment between Brook and Stormfur (good timing, guys), we go back to the cave, where literally everyone is in some way injured, and there is an actual pile of dead bodies. Yeah, they did that badly.

Stormfur goes over to one body in particular, says he was a good friend and says a prayer. Apparently, this cat is Jag, the one that Jaypaw saw getting killed. He was in Moonrise, right? As I said, most of these cats are utterly forgettable.

Stoneteller then starts bitching at Stormfur, because apparently all the deaths are his fault because it was his idea to actually do something. He then banishes Stormfur because he disagrees with his freaky foreign ways. Brook agrees with how stupid this is, and decides to leave with Stormfur, saying that the Tribe needs him. One of the other cats counters by saying that she needs him. Ooooh, burn!

Stoneteller warns Brook that if she leaves with the banished Stormfur, she will never be able to return. As the two leave the Tribe, Stoneteller tells them that he will tell the Tribe of Endless Hunting that they are dead to them. Dick move, Stoneteller. Dick move.

Is it just me, or does Stoneteller banish a lot of cats? I mean, out of the entire series, the only cats we know of that have been officially banished from the Clans are Darkstripe and Tigerstar from ThunderClan and Stormfur and Brook from RiverClan (Brokenstar and his followers weren’t really “banished”). On the other hand, Stoneteller, in only two books, has banished like, what, 8 cats? And it’s not like he’s punishing them for doing something wrong; it’s because they fail to solve his problems for him.

Anyway, Jaypaw is jerked back to reality, and realises that he much have been in Brook’s memories. Yes, he can hijack people’s flashbacks, because he’s the goddamn Jaypaw. Talon and Night say that the Tribe needs Stormfur and Brook’s help, and when Stormfur refuses, he proceeds to tell ThunderClan the story that we just saw just in case we weren’t paying attention the previous chapter.

Brook says she will come back, and Stormfur chooses to follow her, like she did with him. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight also volunteer to go, and Firestar takes their visitors, the four volunteers, as well as Graystripe, Leafpool, and Sandstorm (because she’d have a bitch fit if he didn’t take her) out into the forest to discuss it.

Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw talk about how they all want to go to the mountains, as established by the previous chapters. Now, all three of them simultaneously wanting to go to the mountains gets me thinking. Jaypaw wants to go to the mountains because he knows he can learn more about the prophecy there, which would suggest the reason all three of them want to go is because the mountains are calling to the powers within them or something like that. But of course, as we know now, Hollypaw isn’t a part of the prophecy, so there is no reason why she should feel a need to visit the mountains.

Of course, Vicky has said that Hollypaw was originally going to be a part of the prophecy, and this book was apparently the point where she changed her mind, so maybe this is just a little leftover from Hollypaw’s original destiny. Or it could just be a coincidence. A pretty big one if you ask me.

The rest of the Clan starts to discuss whether or not they should help the Tribe as the Three go off the stalk Firestar so they can ask them if they can go. One bit of the Clan’s discussion I can’t help but notice is Birchfall talking about the friends he had on the Great Journey, and Berrynose suddenly feeling jealous. And I’m not talking about the almighty Jaypaw picking this up, regular ol’ Lionpaw notices how jealous he is.

Why is Berrynose so jealous because Birchfall having other friends? Again, I can’t help but think of the gay thing; otherwise it just seems unnecessary. Which once again brings me to: Why? I mean, I could understand if they had some ongoing subtext, like Firestar and Graystripe, Darkstripe and Tigerstar, etc., but it’s contained entirely within this one book.

Anyway, they Three are spying on the meeting, and they learn that it is decided that they will also bring along Crowfeather and Tawnypelt. Leafpool seems oddly silent despite Crowfeather being mentioned, and Firestar actually uses the word “daren’t” in a sentence.

However, they quickly get caught eavesdropping, and proceed to beg to be brought along. Their pleading actually works, as Leafpool and Sandstorm believe it will be a good experience. Now that the Three are going on the trip, all that’s left for them to do is fetch Crowfeather and Tawnypelt.

Lionpaw and Brambleclaw head over to ShadowClan to fetch Tawnypelt, Hollypaw goes with Squirrelflight to WindClan to get Crowfeather, while Jaypaw stays with Leafpool to prepare.

Lionpaw’s trip to ShadowClan is mostly uneventful, except for an encounter with Tawnypelt’s kits, but we get some fun Breezepaw and Crowfeather related junk when Hollypaw goes to WindClan.

First of all, the WindClan cats get all tense when Squirrelflight starts talking about Crowfeather, probably because they expect that when a ThunderClan cat comes to talk with Crowfeather, they’re planning on snatching him so he can mate with Leafpool endlessly.

Also, when Crowfeather sees that Squirrelflight is coming to talk to him, he starts acting all panicked and asks what’s wrong. Is it just me, or is it painfully obvious that he thinks Squirrelflight is coming because there’s something wrong with Leafpool? D’awww, it’s so cute! ~ :love:

I mean, when he’s acting all tense, Hollypaw starts to wonder why he’s acting like that, and in Power of Three, it is a general rule of thumb that whenever one of the Three is confused about the way Leafpool or Crowfeather is acting, it’s probably because it’s LeafxCrow related.

Heh-heh, I just love this little bit so much. It really shows that he still cares about her. ~ :love:

As for Breezepaw, he’s apparently been being a total jerk (as usual), doing stuff like leading a patrol of apprentices to go searching for dogs, and provoking a fight with RiverClan.

In fact, most of WindClan seems to be fed up with Breezepaw, and Onestar decides to send him on the journey with Crowfeather. Onestar says he thinks it’s a “good idea” for him to go with his father, but Hollypaw immediately expects that he’s just getting rid of him. Personally, I kind of think that, too.

Both Crowfeather and Breezepaw protest at first. Crowfeather because he thinks they don’t owe the Tribe anything since Feathertail died for them; and Breezepaw because… well he needs to complain about something, right?

Eventually, they are persuaded to go.

We also get a few bits of interesting insight into Crowfeather and Breezepaw in this chapter. First, it’s the first time we get much opportunity to see much of their father-son relationship. We always suspected it earlier, but now we’re 100% sure it sucks.

We also see Crowfeather ignoring Nightcloud. Again, pretty obvious from earlier, but now we’re certain that he doesn’t care about her at all.

But something that interests me in particular is the very unflattering way Hollypaw’s narration describes Crowfeather. “…suspicious, bad-tempered, skinny cat…” It stands in sharp contrast to the very smexy way he is described in Leafpool’s point of view.

Now, we all know that most cats who just casually know Crowfeather hate him, because he is all self-conscious and acts like a jerk to drive everyone away (must… resist… obvious… Eva reference…), but almost every cat that has gotten to know the real Crowfeather has fallen head over heels for him. I’m going to propose that, in reality, Crowfeather isn’t nearly as attractive as most fans seem to think, but once you appreciate his inner beauty, it starts to manifest itself as an orgasmic amount of outer beauty. Like what Feathertail and Leafpool saw in him.

…Or something like that. That’s my two cents. (Also, Crowfeather = Gendo)

Next we go to Jaypaw, who is preparing travelling herbs with Leafpool. After thinking to himself about how he hates hanging around Breezepelt because he’s disrespectful and whiny (oh, the irony), he notices that Leafpool is acting a bit edgy, and doesn’t seem to want to leave her den. The obvious reason is that Crowfeather is in camp, and the tension between them has gotten to the point where if she even sees him, she won’t be able to stop herself from jumping on him.

Crowfeather also seems tense when Jayfeather gives him his herbs, again, probably because he wants to do see Leafpool.

After Jaypaw distributes the herbs to everyone, he heads back to the medicine den, and Leafpool is still acting all tense. Again: Crowfeather. When Jaypaw asks if she wants to say good-bye, she says she has said it already.

It’s unclear whether or not she’s talking about just saying good-bye to everyone, or saying good-bye to Crowfeather, in which case she has indeed said it three times.

She said good-bye at the beginning of Sunset, whispered good-bye to him after the Gathering in Sunset, and said good-bye at the end of After Sunset: We Need to Talk. Ouch.

Anyway, we can now finally get our journey under way. The cats head out through WindClan territory towards the mountains, and when they come to crossing the border stream, Jaypaw is defensive about his fear or drowning. He also gets a bit frustrated when the Tribe cats begin to question whether or not they should bring him.

But then the Tribe cats themselves get a bit worried when the possibility of them having to leave the mountains like the Clans left the forest comes out. Apparently, they really like those mountains. Like, a lot.

They finally reach a hill which gives them a good view of all the Clan’s territories, and they decide to take a break. It switches to Lionpaw’s POV, and he insists that they keep going. He feels some crazy rush of energy, and goes on a bit of a power trip. Although this is just a short bit, it is likely connected to his power, meaning it is an important bit of, you guessed it, foreshadowing!

After some more travelling, we also get another little snippet of Breezepaw and Crowfeather in the form of Lionpaw eavesdropping on them. Breezepelt is bitching about why they should help the Tribe, and Crowfeather responds by saying that if they didn’t, Feathertail’s sacrifice would’ve been in vain. When Breezepaw continues to complain, Crowfeather tells him that he will never understand loyalty.

I really like this little bit with Crowfeather, because it just seems symbolic of everything that he has given up for his loyalty to WindClan. On top of that, it’s one of the few times in tPoT that we actually see past his jerk ass façade, making it a bit easier to sympathize with him. Only a bit.

I also like how he is described as sounding “bone-weary”, since the image of despair that word invokes fits the how he must be feeling pretty well. He’s not just weary, he’s freakin’ bone weary.

Crowfeather… bone… Leafpool…

*Cough* Anyway, Breezepaw is also described as being sprawled in a heap, which, now that I look at it again, seems to imply that Crowfeather was just giving his ass a beating.

That Crowfeather, what a… great… father he is…

And after all that is over, guess who we bump in to? Purdy! In all his senile old man with a drawling accent-ness!

I’ve never hated Purdy (frankly, who could?), but I must say I didn’t really fully appreciate him until Sunrise. I’m guessing it has to do with him being even more of a crotchety old person then, as well as his, erm… “friendship” with Sol.

Breezepaw starts to, you guessed it, complain. Crowfeather responds by slapping him upside the head (good ol’ Crowfeather), but for some strange reason Purdy doesn’t call him a “whippersnapper”. That is so out of character for him!

Purdy decides that he is going to accompany them as far as the woods, acting as their guide, like back in Midnight. Of course (again, like with the journeying cats in Midnight), the Three and Breezepaw are not impressed with Purdy at first.

They also encounter see some sheep and I can’t help but feel upset that almost no one has seen that little personal interview where Vicky says she images the Tribe cats sounding Welsh. A joke about Welsh people and sheep would fit here perfectly.

Feeling that they’re being slowed by Purdy, Lionpaw and Breezepaw feel that they have time to sneak off to a barn that Purdy claims had dog in it and catch some mice. Hollypaw decides to tag along, because she doesn’t want them to do anything stupid.

They manage to sneak off to the barn and catch some mice, but wouldn’t you know it, Purdy was right about the dogs. As much as they were scoffing about him being easily scared before, Breezepaw and Lionpaw start freaking out.

Along with Hollypaw, they start trying to escape before they get killed. Just when they least expect it, Purdy shows up and manages to get them out before the dogs tear them to shreds.

Purdy takes them back to their parents for a good scolding. Well, mostly from Brambleclaw, since pretty much all Crowfeather has to contribute “None of you has ever known what it means to be really hungry,”

Also notice that this is the second time he’s pulled the “You don’t understand/have never known about blah blah blah”. It’s like he’s trying to out emo everyone; it’s hilarious. He’s like “Yeah, my life sucks more than yours! Suck it!”

I wonder if Leafpool would take him up on that last offer.

Hollypaw also starts to feel a bit sympathetic towards Breezepaw when she sees how bad of a parent Crowfeather is. She starts to feel glad that he isn’t her father.

Yes, more foreshadowing. Big foreshadowing. Really, all the foreshadowing in this book is crazy. For anyone who has already read the entire series all this foreshadowing becomes some of the funniest dramatic irony I’ve ever seen.

Between all of these hints, as well as Jayfeather not understanding the way Leafpool and Crowfeather act around each other, they could have called tPoT “Irony: The Series”

Anyway, Hollypaw also catches Purdy some prey out of thanks for saving her ass. She also helps him groom his pelt, and starts to feel pity for him when he tells her that his owner died, and that he’s pretty much just living out his old age off of scraps from any family that will feed him.

You know, I find it kind of disturbing that Hollypaw is to only one of the apprentices to feel any sympathy for Purdy. The fact that the cat actually showing some compassion ends up the way she does really drives home the point about how all three of them are pretty messed up.

The next chapter starts off with Jaypaw having a dream where he’s finally face to face with Rock while climbing some dangerous mountains. Now that he came to the mountains like Rock told him, Jaypaw can finally get some answers. But Rock responds by telling him that there should be three of them there, and tells him nothing. Adding insult to injury, Jaypaw then falls to his death and wakes up from his dream. God, Rock is such a jerk. Well, at least he’s less of a pedophile in this book…

So Jaypaw wakes up from his dream, again learning nothing, and it seems that the cats are just about at the mountains. After they say good-bye to Purdy, they start climbing up into the mountains. After climbing on dangerous ledges and Jaypaw doing his usual “I’m blind, but don’t pity me” shtick, they encounter a patrol of the rogue cats terrorizing the patrol.

Among the patrol is Stripes, who seems to be their leader, and Flick, who seems to be their second-in-command. There is also a young she-cat named Twist among them. Of course, her name is never given in the actual book, but the Allegiances list a cat by her description as Twist, so we can infer that it’s her name.

Some fans shipped her with Lionpaw after this book. I am not joking.

Their encounter with the intruders is very tense, with the possibility of a fight breaking out at any time, not at all helped by Breezepaw and Crowfeather’s behaviour. The intruders finally let them pass, the air still wrought with tension.

The eventually reach Tribe territory, and some random Tribe cats are given possibly the most bitchin’ introduction in the entire series: A huge eagle swoops down on the Clan patrol, and then four Tribe cats come out of nowhere, and take it down and kill it almost instantly. With Hollypaw still shocked at the sight, Stormfur comes up and says “Welcome to the Tribe of Rushing Water,” Then the chapter just ends.

Now, I know we’ve seen the Tribe take down eagles before, but because of the way it’s shown here, and Stormfur’s line, it just becomes such an awesome and memorable moment.

Talon and Night go over and talk to the Tribe cats, who are surprised to see Stormfur and Brook alive. Apparently Stoneteller wasn’t joking about them being dead to him.

After talking briefly with the prey-hunters, the cats proceed to the Cave of Rushing Water, and Crowfeather immediately goes off to Feathertail’s grave. Lionpaw wonders what the big deal is, and Tawnypelt explains to him that Crowfeather loved Feathertail.

Here, I can’t help but think about how Tawnypelt neglected to mention Leafpool. It makes me wonder if she didn’t mention her just because she didn’t think it was relevant (even though it is), or because she just doesn’t know. I mean, do we ever get any indication of any cats outside of WindClan and ThunderClan knowing about them? But at the same, it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that would be kept secret so well, especially since a WindClan warrior makes a joke about it at the Gathering in Sunset.

Lionpaw starts to feel a bit of sympathy both for Crowfeather, because he lost Feathertail, and Breezepaw, because his father is a jackass who cares about pretty much everybody except for him.

Of course, when he is thinking about how much of a jerk Crowfeather is, Lionpaw also thinks about how he would feel if his father was still in love with some she-cat from his past. Yes, even more foreshadowing! Do I even have to say it now?

The fact that he’s specifically thinking about mates and not being able to let go of the past could also indicate that this is Ashfur-flavoured foreshadowing.

Anyway, once the cats get into the actual cave, Stoneteller comes out and starts yelling at them, once again reminding Stormfur and Brook that they’re dead. Jeez, these cats take being declared dead far too literally.

Stoneteller is still being far too stubborn and prideful, so he won’t accept any help from strangers, even though the Tribe clearly needs it. Thankfully, he’s not being a total douche and lets the journeying cats stay the night.

The four Clan apprentices socialize with some Tribe to-bes, who I again can’t really care too much about, as they settle down in their nest to sleep.

As all the cats fall asleep, Jaypaw ends up in Stoneteller’s dream and sees him talking to a cat from the Tribe of Endless Hunting.

Stoneteller begs for some guidance, and the cat says that they cannot give him any because even they do not know how to cope with the endless battle the Tribe is fighting. The cat leaves without giving any advice, and Jaypaw tries to follow him, whereas Stoneteller just gives up.

The ancestor eventually catches sight of Jaypaw and simply says “You have come,” proceeds to lead him to a hollow with a pool in the middle where various Tribe ancestors are gathering.

One thing I can’t help but notice about the Tribe of Endless Hunting is how it’s mentioned that some of them still have the wounds that killed them and are still bleeding. When Clan cats go to StarClan, heck, even when they go to the Place of No Stars, all of their wounds are healed, but not for the Tribe cats. Does the Tribe really suck that much?

Although I guess they could get away with it, since other than Sharptooth and the intruders, they live an all-around peaceful life with no battles, so except for maybe the odd victim of a lucky eagle, they wouldn’t really have to put up with any horrible wounds for all eternity.

But imagine of Clan cats had to live with the wounds that killed them after they died. I have an idea for a comic about that, but I suck too much to do it.

Anyway, the Tribe of Endless Hunting starts to talk to Jaypaw about the prophecy. Well, they don’t tell him anything useful about it, so much as just talk about what we already know. Already having gotten used to the plot conspiring to make sure he doesn’t learn anything, Jaypaw changes the subject to the Tribe’s current predicament.

The Tribe of Endless Hunting insists that there is nothing that they can do, and that the mountains have become to dangerous. You see what I mean about a more pathetic version of StarClan? Sure, StarClan doesn’t interfere either, but at least they seem less spineless about it.

Jaypaw then wakes up to hear that Stoneteller has called a meeting. Stoneteller says to the Tribe that the Tribe of Rushing Water told him that they do not want the Tribe to be driven out of the mountains, and that he has decided to let the Clan cats help them.

Now, Jaypaw immediately knows that this is a lie. Of course, it’s a good lie. As wrong as faking having the word of god behind your decisions is, I have to agree with Stoneteller here, since this lie is better than the alternative of just listening to their ancestors and having endless back-and-forths of “We should do something!” and “Should we do something?”

Jaypaw still loses quiet a bit of respect for Stoneteller here, thinking that he could theoretically say the Tribe of Endless Hunting told him whatever he wants them to have told him.

Also, Jaypaw notices that the Tribe’s attitude towards them is more positive now that Stoneteller has given them the thumbs up. Yeah, the Tribe apparently thinks whatever Stoneteller wants them to.

The get down right away to discussing strategies to get rid of the intruders, but when Brambleclaw mentions setting border markers, Crag objects and says that they are trying to turn them into a Clan.

Now, this is one of the things I like about Outcast: The cultural conflict. The Tribe is basically supposed to represent a vastly different culture from the Clans. Not more right or wrong (although, based on the Tribe of Endless Hunting’s portrayal…), just different so that the Erins can explore what happens when different cultures meet.

In this case, they seem to be working with nationalistic sentiments and asserting cultural identity, as the question of whether they are a Tribe or a Clan repeatedly comes up. This type of conflict is something that seems to be relevant in most nations around the world.

Like, in all my Canadian-ness, I can kind of associate the Tribe’s plight with Québec… only with much less thick accents and none of the crazy religious profanities, tabarnac.

I’m also part Ukrainian. I mean, like, half our culture is bitching at Russia. Or each other.

Anyway, they finally get down to trying to train the Tribe cats to deal with the intruders, and although it takes a while, they seem to slowly be getting the hang of battle training. Next up is setting up their borders.

While setting up their first border markers, the patrol has another encounter with the intruders. The intruders scorn the strength of the Tribe’s new borders, and it seems unlikely that they will respect them.

And even as the border patrol starts leaving, they get ambushed by some of the intruders. In the ensuing scuffle, Lionpaw ends up fighting Twist, who is still unnamed. This one brief fight scene, as well as the fact that Lionpaw immediately recognises her, is presumably the reason why they were briefly shipped together.

The Tribe cats manage to win the battle, but seem to be worse off in terms of injuries, and the fact that they seem to be giving up.

After a chapter of Hollypaw and Breezepaw training the to-bes, Jaypaw goes to visit Stoneteller in his den, the oh-so-magical Cave of Pointed Stones.

Stoneteller talks to Jaypaw about how the Tribe of Endless Hunting seems to have abandoned them, and when he laments about why their ancestors brought them to the mountains if they wouldn’t be safe. Well, they’ve been safe there for countless years, so living in the mountains, hasn’t been as worthless as Stoneteller seems to think…

The two eventually go to sleep and Jaypaw ends up in a dream with Rock. Rock warns Jaypaw about messing with ancestors that are not his, and Jaypaw just continues to pester him about how the Tribe of Endless Hunting doesn’t do anything. Rock decides not to justify that with a response, so he just leaves.

Jaypaw then wakes up to learn that another patrol had been attacked by the intruders, but this time they lost. He and Stoneteller immediately start treating all of the wounds, and Jaypaw can’t help but think that the Tribe won’t get anywhere if they can’t help themselves.

However, the news of this defeat pushes Stoneteller’s despair to a new level, and he declares that the Tribe must leave since they can no longer survive in the mountains. Jeez, make up your mind.

Thankfully, Brambleclaw convinces him to try the border patrols again, and some cats go out for border patrol for most of the chapter. With the borders re-marked, it is decided that they will send out a patrol, mostly consisting of the Clan cats for some reason, to go to the intruders’ camp to talk to them about the borders.

They head to the intruders’ camp, located in a cleft between two rocks, and… oh god, it’s Twist again. She calls out, and eventually all of the intruders come out into the open.

Crag starts talking to Stripes about the borders they’ve set, which he immediately shoots down. When the Tribe complains about how unfair Stripe’s free-for-all policy is, he comes back with an epically badass reply: “This is about life or death. If necessary, our life and your death.”

I love this line so much. It’s really a shame it’s uttered by such a minor character.

Hollypaw is utterly horrified that the intruders don’t have any code of honour because… well, she’s Hollypaw; that’s just what she does. Brambleclaw manages to prevent a fight, and the patrol then returns back to the Cave of Rushing Water.

On the way back, they find more of the intruders hunting on the Tribe’s territory. When they confront them, Flick simply mocks their scent markers, and gets his patrol to leave. Things are not looking good for the Tribe.

Since the intruders seem to always mock the scent markers for being nothing but scent markers, Brambleclaw decides the only way to stop the intruders from crossing the borders is to take the fight to them and show that the Tribe can defend its borders.

Just as you would expect, Stoneteller objects, but instead of making a unilateral decision like he usually does, he decides to put it to a vote.

That’s right. The cats know how democracy works, but they ignore it in favour of the autocratic regime they usually follow. Yay!

All of the cats who wish to fight are told to go to one side of the cave, and all the cats who want to flee go to another. Once all of the cats have made their choice, it seems that the Tribe has decided to fight. It seems Stoneteller’s attempt at being a fair leader blew up in his face.

They begin to prepare for the raid, making use of the full moon to make their attack effective. Before the raiding party leaves, Jaypaw tells Hollypaw and Lionpaw that they must come back. You could say that he really cares about his siblings, but knowing Jaypaw, it’s also likely he’s saying “Guys! Don’t mess up my prophecy by dying!”

The patrol decides that they will send the apprentices and to-bes into the intruder’s through the hole in the roof, and then scare them out, right into the rest of the patrol.

The plan works, and the battle finally gets started. As Lionpaw is fighting, he keeps hearing Hawkfrost’s voice whispering him advice. I’m not sure why, though. But, oh well: HAWKEH!

As he continues fighting and fighting and fighting, Lionpaw feels more alive, getting some kind of high off of what he describes as “that wonderful coordination of muscles, teeth, and claws”.

I wonder if he enjoys this wonderful exercise while listening to lovely, lovely Ludwig von.

He’s still rearing for a fight even after the intruders have surrendered. Brambleclaw has to get him to calm down and all the cats look horrified at the sight of him. When he looks down at himself to see what the problem is, he sees that he is drenched in blood, the overpowering smell of it making him heave.

The Tribe and intruders agree that the intruders will respect the borders, if the Tribe leaves their queens and kits alone.

Meanwhile, Jaypaw heads in to the Cave of Pointed Stones and ends up talking to Rock. Rock tells Jaypaw that the battle has been won, but when Jaypaw says that the Tribe’s ancestors will have more faith in them now, Rock replies that it was actually the Clans that saved the Tribe, and that the borders might last.

This ending is a bit depressing, because it just seems to make the Tribe’s new life seem so futile. Rock makes it sound as if the Clans’ help only delayed the inevitable. Oh well; guess we’ll have to wait until The Sign of the Moon to see how things play out…

But now its time for Jaypaw to press for answers. He asks Rock if the Tribe came from the lake, and if the prophecy came from where Rock and the Tribe originated, and is right on both counts. Rock says that they have been waiting for the Three for a long time, and he needs to tell the other: he can’t walk his path alone.

Rock could have also taken this opportunity to tell Jaypaw that Hollypaw isn’t part of the Three, but he doesn’t, probably because he is a dick.

Hollypaw then calls out to Jaypaw, saying that Lionpaw is hurt. He comes over quickly to find Lionpaw covered in blood. Lionpaw insists that he is fine, but Hollypaw is worried because of all of the blood.

They take him over to the waterfall to clean him off, and… Lionpaw was right; there isn’t a scratch on him. None of the blood is his. He is that badass.

Remembering what Rock told him, Jaypaw decides this is an ample opportunity to tell his siblings about the prophecy. And… the book ends just as he starts telling them. Curse you, cliff-hangers!

Inspired by YuGiOh the Abridged Series by LittleKuriboh (CardGamesFTW)


All characters are from WARRIORS by Erin Hunter
WARRIORS is © Harper Collins
Add a Comment:
Hetaliakitty111 Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2016
Loving these abridged versions!  

Also, I'm part Ukrainian, too! 
OwlGirl1 Featured By Owner May 5, 2015
Breezepaw:  I want to say goodbye to my friends first.
Crowfeather:  You don't have any.  Let's get a move on!

DAWWWWW BREEZY!!!  I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND!  BFFLES!!!  *huggles Breezepelt VERY tightly in a totally platonic (and not in an obsessed fangirl at aaaaalllllll😈) way.
EpicRandomCat115 Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Gray: Stormfur!  Brook!  What are you doing here?  You're...You're supposed to be dead!
Stormfur: Just because Stoneteller said we were dead, doesn't mean we are.
Bird: But Stoneteller told us to think that you were dead.
Stormfur: Do you people actually have a mind of your own!?
Gray: Let me check with Stoneteller...
Stormfur: *facepaw*
keylimelphie Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Okay, now you're making me think of a Warriors/Eva crossover. Crowfeather as Gendo, Breezepelt as Shinji, Hollyleaf as Asuka... this should be fun.
ShadowClanDewdrop Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

I just about died.

lightningmaster2001 Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
pktcat Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Student Artist
Tribe of Rushing Water: STRAIGHT dictatorship.
MJITBPE310 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2012
Leafpool: I could go to WindClan to get Crowfeather!
Everyone: *staring at Leafpool*
Leafpool: ...Or not..

They dont trust her to bring crowfeather back right away. xD
Sydthecrazykid Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2014   General Artist
Or nahhhh........
MJITBPE310 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2012
lol in Hollypaw and Lionpaws mind Jaypaw really loves them as sibblings and wants to come back from the raid party. but reality is like "I dont know what the fudge this prohpecy is about and i dont need you 2 killing yourselves just yet!"
Evilkitten3 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Stoneteller: Don't forget to pray to the Rocks of Rushing Water!
Stormfur: *groans*
cutemute34 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"Besides, if anyone in Warriors is a lesbian, it’s Mothwing. Just saying."

Maybe it was just me, but the whole 'Hollyleaf freaking about mating" makes me wonder about her, to...
hyperadam Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012
I always pictured her freaking out about mating in general, tom or she-cat, but that's a really interesting way of looking at it. I mean, she did seem to mostly dislike the idea of settling down into a relationship with a tom; an illicit affair with a she-cat still isn't off the table.

My money is still on Mothwing, though.
cutemute34 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
WarriorKittyKat Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2011

Breezepaw: I want to say good-bye to my friends first.
Crowfeather: You don't have any. Let's get a move on!

*Nightcloud tries to nuzzle Crowfeather*

Jaypaw: Aren't you coming to say good-bye?
Leafpool: I-I've said it already. Three freaking times...
Jaypaw: Um... Okay... bye. *leaves*

OMSC f-ing hilarious
Leafpool: Thank StarClan he's gone. Now I can have erotic fantasies about Crowfeather in peace!
thorntail123 Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2011
OMG LOL xD I LOVE THIS xD its soo funny i almost told every one 2 my friends xD
SkypathTC Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
you gotta make more!
jade9191998 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2011
lol *holding oucast in my hands* i never noticed that is looks like teir humping on the cover.
PeachesHamster Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Breezepaw: I want to say good-bye to my friends first.
Crowfeather: You don't have any. Let's get a move on!

Great line. xD The whole thing was so hilarious. c:
hyperadam Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011
Thanks! :D

Oh, Breezepelt... :XD:
PeachesHamster Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I love all of them. xD
breekitty24 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011
Holy shit that is the longest description ever!! This was freakin hilarious!!
hyperadam Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2011
Yup, it was pretty long... But it was worth it, right? :D
breekitty24 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2011
So worth it! LMAO!
thejumpingkoi Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2011
If I quoted all the lines in this that made me laugh, this comment would be...very long...
hyperadam Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2011
Wow. Did I break my record? :D

xXwolfshadow Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011
berryblue63 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ha! you never fail to make me laugh. I don't like Rock either, I was re-reading sign of the moon and I noticed something creepy when I read it again:
"Her gaze grew warm as she looked into his eyes. "I do trust you. Always." Jayfeather felt his tail entwining with hers "I wish the others would trust you too," Half Moon mewed.
Over her shoulder, Jayfeather spotted movment; he shivered as Rock stepped out from behind a distant colum, the moonlight shining on his hairless body. He fixed his bluging eyes on Jayfeather and nodded once.
Pervert much?
hyperadam Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2011

Well, I don't really dislike Rock, but he is often dangerously close to coming off as a pedophile. Like, right in that scene. Right there is him acting like a creeper.
AlermixFluff Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2011  Student Digital Artist
YOU DON'T HAVE PERMISSION TO TOUCH ME, WOMAN! Hahaha I love that part! :laughing:
Oceanlover223 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2011
Because of my earlier comment about masturbating, I am sure Mothwing is using this time to catch up on!! :D DUDE you should do stand-up comedy!! I AM LAUGH SO DAYM HARD!
Snowberry125 Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
lol you are TOO FUNNY
hyperadam Featured By Owner May 23, 2011
Thank you, I do my best. :bow:
Snowberry125 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2011
themassmetaconscious Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2011   Photographer
All your abridges are awesome! and the other work, i have read every thing except beyond this abridge.

i never relised all the sexuall tension in the warriors untill i read your abridges, but now that i have im like "OMG I CANT BELIEVES I NEVA THOUGHT O THAT!" and barlyXravenpaw is so unavoidable its funny. A all that time in a barn can get to a cat if you know what I mean? :silentkitty: :hump: :silentkitty: :hump: :silentkitty: :hump: :eyepopping:

just awesome man! keep up the good work!
hyperadam Featured By Owner May 1, 2011
Wow, thanks a lot. :D

Yeah, there really is a lot of stuff floating around in there... Ravenpaw and Barley are definately the most suspect. Literally infamous for possibly being gay. :D
PTDaHood Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2011   Writer
Th -- that's a long note...I'm sorry, I didn't finish reading the whole thing...I think I'll do it bit by bit...xD

Crowfeather and his family issues...xD "I HAVE FATHER ISSUES." Breezepaw...xD

Catnip -- the marijuana of the Warriors world 8D

Poor grandchildren...xDDDD I assume he's a...what, a communist? -- fascist? -- is he in for theocracy? XD


O -- Oh, the cover of Outcast...o -- oh...a suggestive pose...O_____O -Will never look at it the same way again-

Birchfall, you...xDDDD

Anyways, without further ado --

hyperadam Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2011
Yeah, I have a tendency to get a bit... longwinded. ^^;

"Crowfeather has family issues" is probably the understatement of the century.

Well, at least he has grandchildren now!... Not that he knows about them...

Stoneteller is... something. Questioning his political ideology will likely result in banishment.

...Although I do like to jokingly refer to the Clans as communist, what with all the warriors working to feed everyone sounding a lot like even distribution of wealth and such.

Yay, I won an Internet. :D
valgal3000 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011  Student Digital Artist
This is the funniest thing ive ever read in my life....... :dummy:
FyreBurnsStrong96 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
wow u r really good at these1 how many have u done?
hyperadam Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2011
Lesse, I have 11 right now, and so far don't have any plans of stopping.
WingsofFires Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2011
You know I hated this book
CatOfTheStars Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2011  Student Digital Artist
BlizzardIceFox Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yes.....curse them cliff-hangers. im jes startin the 4 book.....wait was long shadows the first book .............??
hyperadam Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
Err, no. Long Shadows is the fifth book of tPoT.
BlizzardIceFox Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thz 4 teh info!
hyperadam Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2011
No problem. :D
AvalonWarrior Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
At first i was like: :iconwthplz:
But then i Lol'd :iconloolplz:
BlizzardIceFox Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
AvalonWarrior Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
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