Jaypaw: That's what I was saying. Sure, we can't do without the warrior code, but there are times when it's right to break it. Great StarClan! When we were kits, didn't we hear stories about Firestar breaking the warrior code if he thought it was right?
Lionblaze: If that's the case, couldn't we just ditch the warrior code and live our lives based on right and wrong?
Hollyleaf: BLASPHEMY! *bitch slap*
Dawnpaw: Why not feed them poppy seeds and drag them to the place?
Flamepaw: Yes! Drugging people solves all problems!
Lionblaze: Wait, so we're going to get ShadowClan to believe in StarClan again by ripping freaking trees out of the ground?
Jaypaw: Yes. Yes we are.
*After one of Lionblaze's dreams about Heathertail*
Lionblaze: I don't want to kill her in a HORRIBLY violent fashion, just a MILDLY violent fashion.
Jaypaw: Wait... Didn't Millie say she got shots so she couldn't get sick? How does she have Greencough now?
Leafpool: I dunno, maybe they wore off. Or it's just a plot hole.
*Cats meeting in StarClan*
Silverstream: Random Silverstream cameo!
Bluestar: Um, yeah. Good for you.
Jaypaw: The silver cat who died...
Graystripe: Which one? My mate or my daughter? Too many silver and gray cats die in this series...
*Jayfeather leaving to walk in Kestrelpaw's dream*
Leafpool: *talking in her sleep* Mmmm... Crowfeather... Is that your tail, or are you just happy to see me? ...
Kestrelpaw: Hi, Jaypaw!
Jaypaw: Ummm... Aren't you at all surprised to see me in your dreams?
Kestrelpaw: No, not at all. You're in my dreams every night.
Kestrelpaw: So where do you wanna do it tonight?
Jaypaw: (I always though Kestrelpaw was stupid, but Great StarClan, is he STUPID!)
Firestar: Graystripe, if Millie's paws are truly set on the path to StarClan, then I'll send for you to say good-bye. I promise you.
Graystripe: Well that doesn't cheer me up at all!
Dark Whiskers: What's going on here?
Stone Song: Oh, it's you Dark Whiskers. Jay's Wing has had a dream about stone hills and falling water, and then Half Moon started trying to mate with him...
Jaypaw: I... feel... so... AWKWARD!
Jaypaw: *looking at Owl Feather* (She looks just like Kestrelpaw... Only the opposite gender... This is so scarring...)
*Jaypaw at the casting of the stones*
Jaypaw: What sort of way is this to run a Clan? Democracy? I've never heard of anything so ridiculous in my life!
Leafpool: Where's Jaypaw?
Hollyleaf: He's out playing with his stick.
Leafpool: Oh... I see... Well, it is tough when you realise that as a medicine cat, you can't take a mate. I should know how hard it is to resist urges. I mean, whenever Crowfeather starts acting edgy, it gets me all...
Hollyleaf: What does this have to do with that stick Jaypaw found out by the lake?
Leafpool: Oh, you meant... Right, yes. Erm, please disregard everything you just heard.
Hollyleaf: But I don't even...
Leafpool: You should take every chance you can to be a good father. It's even better than being a mentor.
Spiderleg: No such thing!
Heathertail: Go, and don't come back. You can take the catmint. I've no quarrel with ThunderClan; I don't want to see cats suffer, whatever you might think.
Lionblaze: If you don't care about me taking the catmint, why the hell did you bother following and confronting me like this?
Heathertail: I dunno, maybe I'm just a bitch.
Brambleclaw: Jaypaw, can I have a word?
Jayfeather: Sure, and it's Jayfeather now.
Brambleclaw: Yeah, sure, whatever... Well as I was saying...
Ashfur: I have no quarrel with Brambleclaw.
Lionblaze: *whispering* That's not what it sounds like to me.
Ashfur: I couldn't care less about Brambleclaw, it's not his fault he fell for a faithless she-cat. I know you think I've never forgiven Brambleclaw for stealing you from me, but you're wrong, and so is every cat that thinks so. My quarrel is with you Squirrelflight. It always has been.
Squirrelflight: Wait, WHAT? If this was about Brambleclaw, you could get away with just being a psychotic jerk, but now you're... I don't know what! You're not even making any sense anymore!
Ashfur: Upset? I'm not upset. You have no idea how much pain I'm in. It's like being cut open every day and bleeding onto the stones. I can't understand how any of you failed to see the blood...
Squirrelflight: Oh, shut up. Just because you came up with an extremely emo metaphor for your pain doesn't mean it justifies several counts of attempted murder. I mean, you're better off than a lot of characters in this series...
Hollyleaf: I knew it! There's nothing special about us! You're just really good at fighting, and as for Jayfeather -- well he's a medicine cat, of course he's going to have dreams!
Lionblaze: But I'm unnaturally strong, plus that doesn't explain how I feel when I fight either...
Jayfeather: Also, I can sense feelings, walk in other cats' dreams, and I know stuff other medicine cats don't. How can you explain that?
Hollyleaf: SHUT UP! I'm trying to temporarily resolve the conflict!
Jayfeather: You're just jealous because you haven't discovered your powers yet...
Hollyleaf: SHUT UP!
Lionblaze: I can beat you in a fight if I have to.
Ashfur: "Beat me in a fight"? Don't you mean kill me? Who do you think you are, a character in an anime dubbed by 4Kids?
Ashfur: Are you threatening me? I could break your neck with one swipe.
Jayfeather: What? Um, no. No one could do that. That is actually physically impossible.
Ashfur: Sorry, I'm new to the whole "evil" thing...
Dustpelt: It's Ashfur.
Jayfeather: *fist pump* YES! He's dead!
Dustpelt: What was that?
Jayfeather: I mean... How...sad...
Brackenfur: Are you saying one of us killed Ashfur?
Firestar: No, but it sounds like someone has a guilty conscious... BRACKENFUR!
Brackenfur: Gah! I-I didn't...
Firestar: Ha, I was just joking! ... But seriously, one of us is a murderer.
Jayfeather: This is like that episode of The Simpsons where Maggie shot Mr. Burns... Except replace "Mr. Burns" with "Ashfur", and "shot" with "tore open his throat and pushed him into a river".